


Julaften 19:06-01:21

by YellowSpatula



Series: Isak and Even - Grønne Gardiner [3]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Fluff, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sweden is mentioned a bit, but it's all well, they've been together for two weeks but are basically married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 17:21:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20139157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowSpatula/pseuds/YellowSpatula
Summary: **Christmas Eve 19:06-01:21A lot of people don't like Christmas, and Isak's no exception. Something that is exceptional, though, at least if he gets to say so himself, is that he has an Even who cares about him.Or, Isak's alone at Christmas Eve until he's not.





	Julaften 19:06-01:21

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set during their first Christmas as a couple (if it wasn't already obvious) and this isn't really how I imagined it going, but I had some last minute inspiration and this is what came out of it.

Isak hasn’t ever been the type of person who hates Christmas, he just...doesn’t like it that much. When he was a kid, his mamma and pappa would always take him to see their fucked up extended family, but then his mom got bad and his dad decided that he was ashamed of his family and refused to go to his parents’ house with Isak and mamma. And apparently his parents had never been the ones to provide Christmas presents, because after that Isak never got a Christmas present again.

** **

Then, his dad left and his mom didn’t recognize him anymore so he spent his Christmas Eve at McDonalds, a big mac washed down with coke being his Christmas dinner.

** **

So now, when all his roommates have gone away for Christmas and he’s alone at the Kollektiv, he doesn’t cry, like he used to. Instead he heats some leftovers and eats them as he’s sitting on the countertop watching the street below.

** **

It’s not the first lonely night he’s spent peoplewatching, but now it feels just as suffocating as the quiet apartment does. Usually he finds comfort in the people walking down the street, or the people in the apartments on the other side of the road, but now it’s just as empty as the flat. The only thing lighting up the outside world are the street lamps and the electronic candlesticks in the windows across the street.

** **

He refrains from texting Even, afraid to somehow disturb the peace that has erupted in their (so far) tumultuous relationship if he’s too clingy, and instead uses the radio as company and leans back against the wall as melodies start echoing against the walls.

** **

Unsurprisingly, the only songs that every radio station play are overplayed Christmas songs and they make him want to put his head through the wall. Maybe he lied, maybe he  _ does  _ hate Christmas, because if this is the only thing it has to offer then god-

** **

His inner turmoil is interrupted as his phone vibrates against his thigh. He turns it over so he can see the screen and, as it turns out, Even isn’t as scared of being too clingy as he is, because there’s a new text from an  _ Even Kosegruppa <3  _ lighting up his screen.

** **

**Lørdag, Desember 24, 2016**

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:20) Having a nice Christmas Eve so far?

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:20) Yeah. It’s great. Wbu?

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:22) It’s really fun, actually!

Haven’t really seen my extended family in a while, so it’s been great.

I told them all about you, and they all say hi

I showed my little cousin Sofhie a picture of you and she told me she thinks you’re really cute

I agreed of course

Miss you though :(

** **

**Isak **

** **

(19.25) Sounds fun

It’s nice here too

** **

Maybe he can get away with <strike>lying</strike> not telling the entire truth if he doesn’t give too many details. At least so he hopes. He really doesn’t want to lie to Even, but he also doesn’t want to worry him or, worst of all, be pitied.

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:25) You’re celebrating with your family, right?

** **

Shit, shit,  _ shit.  _ He’d casually mentioned it a few weeks ago, when they were smoking in his room the day after Halloween and he didn’t think that Even would actually remember - Isak certainly wouldn’t - but Even’s just so good. God, Isak really hates himself sometimes.

** **

**  
** **Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:29) Or was there a sudden change of plans?

** **

Shit.

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:30) No no no. You’re right.

Big family dinner

Grandparents are hosting

Younger cousins are here

It’s all good

Yep

** **

Maybe he can get away with it. As long as he doesn’t give too many details, it should be fine.

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:33) I didn’t know you had younger cousins!

Where are you celebrating, by the way?

You never told me.

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:34) Grandparents’ house

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:34) Yeah, but where’s that?

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:35) Oslo

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:35) Oslo’s relatively big, babe

Where in Oslo?

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:36) Just….

Oslo

** **

Isak fucking hates himself.

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:37) God, Isak, you’re being difficult.

Can you just send me a fucking picture of where you are?

(19:41) Please

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to get mad.

** **

He’s worried. Shit. Isak really is a shit liar, apparently. His phone keeps going off with notifications, but he pointedly ignores them as he tries to find a window in the flat which has a view that Even isn’t familiar with yet (Isak secretly loves that Even’s spent enough time at his place to have seen everything there is to see). Just as he’s outside of Eskild’s door, trying to decide whether to step in and risk seeing all kinds of BDSM stuff Eskild chose to leave out in the open or to save the little innocence he’s got left, he remembers the small window in the bathroom. Score.

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:50) [sent a picture]

Sorry it took some time

Had to get out of the dining room

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:51) Oh

Looks cozy ;)

I’m sorry I got mad, I was just worried.

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:51) It’s okay :)

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(19:52) Sorry I got to go.

It’s time to open presents!!

[[sent a gif](https://66.media.tumblr.com/57846f135587ff25243c1b6579ed2680/tumblr_n1yus7L7QI1rb9puwo1_500.gif)]

I love you <3

Bye :)

** **

**Isak**

** **

(19:52) Bye. Love you too

** **

Again, Isak really fucking hates himself. Yet, he’s also kind of proud. He managed to steer Even and his worry off and now he can relax and just...be. In celebration, he takes one of the Fanta bottles he’s kept in the fridge since that one weekend where he decided to drink less (it did not succeed) and jumps back up onto the countertop and continues to devour his leftovers. For the next hour, he’s fine. Even doesn’t text for the next hour (much to Isak’s dismay - even though he’s trying to convince himself it’s good).

It’s not until Isak’s sat down in bed with a bowl of ice cream that he hears from Even again.

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(20:56) Isak.

That’s not from your grandparents’ house

** **

**Isak**

** **

(20:56) Yes it is

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(20:57) Isak, don’t lie to me

That’s the view from your bathroom window.

** **

**Isak**

** **

(21:00) Yeah uh haha

I guess I sent the wrong pictures.

Big fingers I guess lol

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(21:01) Isak…

** **

**Isak**

** **

(21:03) Yeah

Yeah ur right

Didn’t think you’d recognize it haha

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(21:04) I’ve spent enough time in your shower to recognize it

But that’s not my point

Was any of what you told me true?

** **

**Isak**

** **

(21:06) Yeah. Your Christmas does sound nice

** **

**Even Kosegruppa <3**

** **

(21:06) ...

** **

**Isak**

** **

(21:07) No

Sorry

Just

Nvm

Haha

Gonna let you get back to your presents

** **

Isak hates it. He hates it all and he hates himself. Why did he have to lie? Now Even’s not going to trust him anymore and maybe he won’t want to sleep over as often and then their entire dynamic is going to change (and Isak won’t sleep) and Isak’s not sure their relationship would survive that. 

At least not now, when it’s all so new and Isak’s still getting used to sharing a part of himself with someone and when Even’s newly out of a four year relationship with someone so different from Isak. Someone so much better (Isak doesn’t want to think like that, but he can’t help the self-deprecating thoughts that force their way through).

** **

He chooses to ignore all the new messages on his phone, instead only focusing on the cookie dough ice cream in front of him and the episode of Planet Earth playing on the TV. It’s not until his phone rings that he chooses to acknowledge its existence. He doesn’t have to look at the caller ID to know that it’s Even. Reluctantly, he presses the green button. 

** **

“Even?”

_ Halla. _

“So uh. Tell me about Christmas.”

_ Isak… _

“Yeah?”

_ Why did you feel like you had to lie? _

“I dunno. I guess I didn’t want you to know.”

** **

He hears faint laughter in the background and he ignores the tug it brings to his heart.

** **

_ You know what, I’m coming over. _

“No. You’re not coming over.”

_ Yes I am, don’t try to stop me. _

“Then I’m going out. You’re not coming over.”

_ Why can’t you just let me come over? _

“Your family’s going to miss you if you go. And besides, the others are home.”

_ They are? _

“Uh, yeah.”

_ You’re lying. _

“Am not!”

_ I know you are. _

“Fine! But I...it’s fine. You should stay.”

** **

If Even hears his voice breaking he doesn’t mention it.

** **

_ If you say so. _

“Yeah. Bye.”

** **

He hangs up before Even can get a word in and he lets the tears that have gathered in his eyes fall. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t cry this Christmas. His ice cream has melted and his back hurts from the way he’s sitting and there’s a deer being eaten by wolves on the TV and he’s alone and it’s all just shit.

** **

When he throws the covers off of himself his bowl flips over and the thick, lotion like fluid spills out over his blue duvet and now he’s gonna have to wash it and it won’t smell like Even anymore and it’s too much for Isak. The sobs he’s held in for so long finally make their way to the surface and they cause his whole body to shake.

** **

Isak hasn’t cried like this since his dad left, when his mom hadn’t recognized him and had tried to run after pappa’s car and Isak had to run after her down the snowy and dark street, her sharp nails clawing along his arms and legs as he held her around the waist to stop her from rushing into traffic.

** **

_ “Crying makes you weak,”  _ his dad once said, when a five year old Isak fell and ripped his favorite pants and got a big and bloody wound along his leg. And since then, those words are etched into his mind, haunting him every time he lets a tear or two fall.

** **

But right now, he doesn’t care if he’s weak. He only wants this stupid day to be over so Even can come back and hold him again. He stumbles into the living room and when his knees give in he doesn’t try to get up again. Instead he stays on the floor, legs folded on the sides of him, tears wetting the collar of his hoodie. 

** **

The hardwood floor is surprisingly comfortable, and he feels himself leaning back until his back eventually hits the floor and the ceiling is the only thing he sees.

** **

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but what he does know is that his tears have stopped and his body feels sore in that I-just-had-a-mental-breakdown way, so he lets his eyes fall closed and he’s this close to having fallen asleep when he hears the doorbell ring.

** **

Too tired to get up, he lets it ring and assumes that the person is just going to go until he hears a voice calling out.

** **

“Isak? Please open the door!”

** **

Shit, Even. He almost forgot about that.

** **

When he opens the door, Even’s centimeters in front of him, almost on Isak’s side of the threshold, and there’s a small smile on his lips, but there’s still worry in his eyes and in an attempt to calm him, Isak leans forward and asks for a kiss.

** **

But, for once, Even doesn’t reciprocate. Instead he steps into the apartment, boxes of food in hand, and looks around.

** **

“I’ll go and set the table, you go and change into nicer clothes,” He says, and steps out of his shoes as he looks Isak up and down, a small smile still on his lips - the Isak smile isn’t there, and it kind of hurts, but Isak chooses to ignore that for now.

** **

Closing the door behind him, Isak follows Even into the apartment and when they enter the kitchen Isak plops down into a chair, taking Even’s discarded jacket into his arms and starting to play with the zippers of it.

** **

Even’s walking around the kitchen, taking out a few plates here and there. He’s humming on a song which Isak soon recognizes as All I Want For Christmas and he can’t help but to sigh.  _ This holiday _ , he thinks,  _ this fucking holiday. _

** **

“Can you please show me how your microwave works?” When he looks up from his lap, Even’s stood by the microwave, crouching down and peering down at the small buttons.

** **

Isak doesn’t move, though. Instead he puts the coat on the table and takes a deep breath, “I told you that you didn’t need to come here.”

** **

At this, Even moves back a little and straightens out his back, “Well, I wanted to see you, so I came anyway. You never told me you didn’t want me here.” Now he’s wearing his Isak smile and it’s just _t_ _ oo _ much.

** **

“You should- You were with your family. You shouldn’t leave them just to come see me.” His voice sounds small and he absolutely hates it. Even doesn’t comment on it, thank god, instead he moves so he’s in front of him, and cradles Isak’s face, thumb stroking his bottom lip.

** **

“Still, I wanted to see you. You’re kind of my favorite person, you know?” His voice is teasing, but there’s still some sincerity playing in the background and it makes Isak’s insides swoon.

** **

He has to fight the smile that’s threatening to break out on his face, and he rolls his eyes, “Still. It’s just me.”

** **

Even laughs softly before he places a quick kiss on Isak’s lips, “I happen to love  _ just _ you, Issy.” It’s almost a whisper, but in Isak’s head it’s louder than everything else. Love, love,  _ love _ .

** **

“Okay.” 

** **

“Yeah?”

** **

“Yeah.”

** **

“Good. Now, go change. I love you like this, but we need to match, no?” Isak looks down at himself before he eyes Even’s outfit. With a damp hoodie and too short sweatpants he looks like an actual troll compared to Even and his fancy-ass dress pants and a silly Christmas sweater over a button down, a combo that, surprisingly (or well…), looks amazing on him.

** **

“But what about the microwave?” He asks, peering out from under his eyelashes in that way he knows Even can’t stand.

  
But Even only turns back to the microwave, a determined look on his face, “I’ll figure it out, now go.” 

** **

So he does.

** **

When he comes out into the kitchen a couple minutes later, dressed in the same button down he wore at the Kosegruppa Christmas party, a pair of clean jeans paired with it, he’s met with a fully packed table of cooked food.

** **

“Uh? Even? What’s all this?” When Even looks up from where he’s setting the table, a wide and giddy smile making the corners of his eyes crinkle.

** **

“It’s Christmas food! Grandma let me take the leftovers for you, she really adores you, by the way, so here they are!” He gestures to the table, plates still in hand.

** **

“Yeah, no shit, I can see that it’s food. But like...it’s so much! You sure she let you take it all?” He doesn’t know why he’s overthinking Even’s very cute and romantic gesture, but he does and he’s a little bit overwhelmed.

** **

Even obviously senses his nervosity, because suddenly he’s in front of Isak, gazing into his eyes, “Yes, I’m sure. Now, come. I even brought some beer for you, you know.”

** **

He sits down, bites open the beer bottle and takes a swig, “Should’ve led with the beer thing.”

** **

At that, Even throws his head back and laughs, all the while wearing his Isak smile, “I really should’ve. Bon appetit.”

** **

They eat mostly in comfortable silence, broken only by short conversations. 

** **

“I know that a lot of these aren’t Norwegian dishes, so where are they from?”

_ Sweden, actually. My grandma’s from there. _

“So you’re a quarter Swedish, huh?”

_ I guess I am, guess you’re dating a foreigner, then. _

** **

_ You really need to try this ham. It’s amazing. _

“Is it really? I’ve never liked ham.”

_It's extraordinary. Swedish, sadly, but god- I think that it kind of makes me like Sweden, just a little._

“Huh. Guess I’ll try it if it’s really _that_ good.”

** **

_ You’re a bad liar, even through texts, you know. _

“Am not! There has never been a better liar than me!

_ Sure, babe, sure. _

** **

Hours later, when Even and him are getting into bed, Even turns to him with a grin playing on his lips.

** **

“Wanna know something?”

** **

Isak only nods as he waits for Even to join him under the sheets.

** **

“All I want for Christmas is you,” he says, both eyes moving in what Isak thinks is supposed to be a wink, and then he curls up next to Isak and kisses his cheek, a smile still playing on his lips.

** **

Christmas is still hell for Isak, but right here, right now, it’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the Swedish ham they talk about is my real life favorite Christmas dish.
> 
> Also I'm Swedish if you somehow didn't understand.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this lil Christmas thingy :)


End file.
